Welcome Back Eastside Families,
Well after a long break we have managed to make it through a full week of school. It was exciting to see the kids and hear about their adventures from the holidays. I think everyone was ready to come back and they have demonstrated their ability to get right back to working hard and learning.
Our character trait this month is responsibility. We have been discussing what responsibility means and how it is demonstrated by your actions. A part of responsibility that we stress is to do your best and don't give up. Responsibility is not just doing what needs to be done.
The Parent Institute has this to say about responsibility.
Question: My fifth grader won't even put her dirty socks in the clothes hamper! How can I get her to be responsible at school when she's always so irresponsible at home?
Answer: There's your answer: at home. Your child needs to learn responsibility at home so she can apply it at school. It's not the other way around. This isn't to say that teaching responsibility is easy. It's a process that takes time. Here are some ways to get that process started:
A. Expect good things from her/him. Let your child know that you believe they are capable. Rather than swoop in and solve every problem for them, give them the opportunity to figure some things out for themselves. This goes for everything from math homework to jigsaw puzzles.
B. Give her/him chores. Put your child in charge of certain tasks that are age-appropriate and insist that they complete them. Just make sure you're clear about what you expect. Rather than say, "Clean your room," be specific. "Put your books back on the shelf and hang up your jacket." Once your give her the instructions, leave the room. If your hover, it will seem like you don't think they can handle the job.
C. Let her/him experience consequences. So what if your child still won't put her dirty socks in the hamper? Don't wash them on laundry day. The same goes for her soccer jersey and her sweats. When she realizes her favorite outfits aren't ready and waiting, she may get the message about where dirty laundry is supposed to go (sometimes our pride and, wondering what others will think, rob us of perfect teaching opportunities).
The Parent Institute is talking about natural consequences which are consequences that occur naturally from an event or behavior. These consequences sometimes have a bigger impact than consequences given by the parent. Remember discipline is to teach not to punish and in the teaching there is generally a deficit. That is not to say that parents should never give consequences just think about which will get you the result you want.
Once again thank you for sharing your wonderful children with us, they are amazing!
Pati A. Cummins